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Posts Tagged ‘Grief Loss and Bereavement’

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. -Romans 12:15

 

We must be willing to feel the heart beat of other's in our chest. This is what love does. (1)

 

One wedding and two suicides. From celebration to lamentation. From dancing in the sunset to mourning alongside two of my dearest childhood friends as they grieve the senseless loss of their young men living—and then dying—on the edge of manhood.

I long to ease the ache in the hearts of these dear ones; to smooth the hard edges of the emptiness that once was filled by the laughter of young men. Soul soothing words fail to trip off my tongue and I stumble in my awkward attempts to offer comfort and hope.

While I’ve experienced the pain of death separating me from another, I haven’t lost a child to the nightmarish reality of suicide. This grief? It’s consuming—like a fire threatening to devour everyone in its path.

And in our pull-yourself-up from the bootstraps culture where grief is an inconvenience and lament is looked on with suspicion, I’m suggesting something radical.

Let’s step into lament. Let’s join those we know who are hurting. Let’s choose to walk willingly into the fiery furnace just as Christ did when three of his children were tossed like kindling into a human-sized oven.

People are lamenting everywhere around us. The woman just up the street whose husband has left her with three children and a cancer diagnosis. The forty-seven-year old mother of teenagers fearing the worst as her husband struggles to survive the aftermath of a stroke. The young couple aching to hold a baby in empty arms after yet another miscarriage.

Grief is uncomfortable. Stepping into another’s pain is painful. Yet, if we are to love like Jesus we must be willing to feel the heartbeat of others in our chest. We are meant to join others as they walk through the fire. That’s what love does.

Who are you going to love today?

 

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He does not cast away, nor crush, nor condemn the wounded in conscience, those
who are terrified in view of their sins; the weak in faith and practice, but
watches over and cherishes them, makes them whole, and affectionately embraces them.   –Luther

Each tear that pours from her eyes fills a place in my heart that once brimmed with pain like hers.  Why?  She asks as if I can answer.  How could a loving God allow it?  But I don’t know.  There is no way to explain away the heartache.  The pain.  The desolate feeling of isolation.  I don’t know, but I understand.

Am I unlovable?  Not worth a moment’s tenderness?  Each syllable bursts from her mouth in pronounced confusion.  I hear her cries for help.  The need for mercy.  Etchings of the past press themselves on her features.  And I feel my insides twist as she shouts out fear…loss…hopelessness.  From deep within I hear His voice.  You are loved–more than you could ever know.  I am your true Father.  Your Heavenly Husband.  The Balm of Gilead. 

I know the words are meant for me, too.  Our human stories are alike–joys, sorrows, fears.  Celebrations, grief, betrayal.  Love, hate, reconciliation.  Maybe He came to live with us–and live this way–because we can relate to the All-God-All-Man who lived an everyday life .

Loved.  Hated.  Reviled. Laughing.  Crying.  Caring.

His human story is like ours.  He understands. He knows our heartache.

Now, the Healer’s hands are held out–nail marks in plain view–waiting to touch our feeble, broken places.  Those crushed, down-trodden areas we thought meant sure death.  The breath of Life kneels down and exhales–filling the thirsty places with hope.  His mercy was revealed that day on the cross when the gaping, weeping wound in His side foretold of the festering, needy places in our own souls.  Of our need for Him.

If you are wounded–like her, like me–why not turn to the One who was wounded for us?  He understands.  He loved us that much.  We are worth more than a moment’s tenderness.  We were worth the cost of His perfect and holy life.

Verse for Reflection

A bruised reed he will not break,
and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.
In faithfulness he will bring forth justice.  (
Isaiah 42:3  NIV)

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