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Posts Tagged ‘woman of God’

give yourself permission to allow the beauty of self to shine through (4)

I was such a people pleaser and in trying to be everything to everyone else, I have little idea of who I am.

 Her words, full of regret and confusion, describe me only a few years ago. At times—even after years of seeking wise counsel and prayer—I still struggle with desiring approval.

If you’ve ever felt the pull to be someone you weren’t designed to be; ever buried your thoughts beneath the false assumption that your feelings are inconsequential…irrelevant…immaterial; ever heard yes spill from your mouth when you intended to say no; then you understand.

It was only in beginning to understand authentic, unconditional love that I found release from the terrible, demanding tyrant of seeking always to please others at the cost of genuine personhood.

The ingrained habits of childhood followed me into marriage and, as a newlywed, I “protected” myself from being fully known by remaining meek and agreeable whether or not I agreed with my husband.

The dusty blue and white striped couch is a perfect example.

As my husband and I meandered around the Sears furniture department, we compared several different chairs, couches, and kitchen tables. Pointing out a particular set sofa within our price range, Dave asked for my opinion. I like it. Which…I did, but I preferred a different piece. The traditional one a few steps to the right. I remained silent.

I chose pleasing my husband to sharing myself and was reminded of it each day for the five years that cute little sofa graced our home.

Time has taught me that to be truly loved by others, I must be known as I am—not as others might wish me to be. Not as I imagine I should be. Just the woman God created me to be.

If people pleasing has been your struggle, would you give yourself permission to allow the beauty of self to shine through in your thoughts and actions? Allow Him to reveal the woman He designed you to be—fully known and loved.

Blessings,

Tammy

 

P.S. I always share my opinion when buying sofas now and my husband still loves me. J

 

Ideas that might help as you discover You-

If you, like my friend, feel uncertain about who you are, consider starting small.

  1. Decide on an untried genre of book that sounds interesting or explore a hobby that intrigues you.
  2. Read and memorize scripture that combats doubt about self by affirming your identity in Christ. These are some of my favorites: 1 Thessalonians. 1:4, Psalm 139:14, Ephesians. 1:5
  3. Journal your thoughts, feelings, and discoveries.
  4. Ask a friend, spouse, or mentor to pray for your specific needs as the Lord guides you toward a greater understanding of your identity.

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